Splashpark Hero

We have gone to the splash park/wade pool almost every day we’ve been here in MN visiting family. Mostly good experiences, but also the occasional “bad kid” moment. Today, there were a few kids running around with water launcher/stream machine things and they were wreaking havoc. I had also (naively) just worn my jeans rolled up and a tank top, so I was avoiding them as much as possible… but this one little boy was out to get me.

He finally got close enough (without pointing the soaker at my face) for me to talk to him. I just said, “Please don’t squirt me and get me wet, I’m wearing real clothes.” And he kinda gave a nod and walked away. Then a few minutes later he came back, with a sparkle in his eye, pointing it at me again. I smiled and shook my finger at him and he smiled back. But then he pointed it at my bare feet and paused, looking at me for approval. I said “Oh yes! Please get my feet. They’re hot.” So he squirted my feet, giggled, and ran away.

A little while later he came back. This time Asher was closer, to see our interaction. The boy pointed at my feet and I smiled and nodded so he squirted. Then, the boy raised the soaker toward my head and I could hear Asher shriek- “Don’t get my Mommy!!”
But the boy sprayed.
(Luckily he didn’t have much water in it and my hand deflected most of the spray, so there was very little water involved)
I looked at the boy with my hand still out and sternly said, “not again, mister.” And the boy ran away.

But then I couldn’t see/find Asher.
He was hiding behind a fountain and appeared to be upset with me.
I assumed he knew it was about time to go and was trying to prolong leaving.

I finally coaxed him away from the water fountain and he begrudgingly came with me.

I brought him a few steps away from the madness and knelt down to check in… he was wiping his eyes, head down, mumbling. As soon as i get down to his level, he breaks down crying -sobbing- burying his little wet head into my chest.

“That boy got you and he wasn’t supposed to get you!! -sob- and I yelled at him to stop but he didn’t hear me!! -sob- or he did and was mean and got you anyways and I couldn’t stop him!” *cue heartbreak*

I just hugged on him (wet and all) and told him “Oh Ashy… I didn’t get hurt buddy, I only got a little bit wet!”

“But he wasn’t supposed to get you!! And I couldn’t stop him!!” -sob-

I said something to the affect of- you are such a brave and caring boy. I know that there will be lots of times that you will be able to help me as you grow up. But I’m safe now and didn’t get hurt!!

I’m not sure what ended our wet hug exactly or what it was that changed his mind and moved him forward… but tonight before bed he brought it up again, and we talked it out again.

My take away is- little boys often get put in roles of protector at a very young age, regardless of how we try to not enforce gender roles. (possibly because of superheroes) They want justice and “right” to prevail.

But they also want/need to cry. And SHOULD be allowed to cry.

I felt a few strange looks while I was hugging him during his meltdown and had a moment myself of -ughhh, I’m getting so wet- but I pushed those thoughts away. In that moment, my little boy felt so strongly that he had failed his mother by not protecting me. I could not fail him by refusing to hold him through his tears.